13 Nights of Halloween: Evil Bong
It’s the movie you’ve been waiting for! No horror movie marathon is complete without a stoner flick thrown into the mix. Like I know what you’re gonna say, that stoner movies are totally bad juju but like you have to understand this is the greatest film ever made. As the title may suggest, Evil Bong is about an evil bong that kills you once you toke up. Talk about a buzz kill.
Our hazy film starts out with our square hero, Alistair, moving in with a few stoners (dropout Larnell, surfer dude Bachman and former baseball player Brett) and trying to adjust to his roommates’ behavior. Larnell orders a bong through an ad that claims it was “possessed.” Bachman regularly uses the bong with such tenacity, Larnell reprimands him for his lack of self-control. Mysteriously, Bachman dies with the others unaware until the next morning. In a foggy sequence, we find that Bachman’s soul is happily trapped in a strip club, and when seduced by a stripper, she kills him with her skull head bra. Seriously.
As the film continues on, Larnell becomes the bong’s next victim with Brett and his girl Luann following suit. Unsure of what to do, Jimbo (Tommy Chong) busts in and explains the bong’s true nature. Embedded with supernatural power, Eebee must sustain her sentient being by consuming souls, and what better way to do that than stealing those who toke upon her. When Luann’s friend — and Alistair’s crush — Janet, falls victim to the evil bong, it’s up to him to save her and the others. While he’s in stripper land, Jimbo decides it’s time for Eebee’s influence to end, though she’s not going down without a fight.
I’m not gonna lie, I truly did enjoy this film more than I thought I would. It’s humorous, quite campy, and is a true frightening experience if you allow your vices overcome you. As the trailer announced, “YOU GET HIGH YOU DIE,” which pretty much summarizes the movie in its entirety.