13 Nights of Halloween: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
After the sudden horror that is The Shrine, I thought it’d be best to unwind with one of my favorites. Now she has truly inspired me to be the best I can be while critiquing horror films, even if the movies lack…well anything. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Elvira, it’s that horror can be fun as she shows us in her aptly named 1988 flick Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. With one liners at her disposal, surrounded by the best a small town can give her, Elvira makes Fallwell, Massachusetts a temporary life after a great aunt’s passing leaves her with a mansion.
Okay, so if you’re unaware of who Elvira is, you need to get out. She is the most iconic character that has graced the big and small screens with her Valley girl speech, quirky personality and voluptuous figure. When you start the film, you’re thrust into one of her classic movie showings, although it quickly ends as it came. After being harassed by her station’s new owner, she quits and immediately receives a letter informing her of her great aunt’s passing. Coincidence, huh? Her trip to the small town of Fallwell is a rude awakening to the townspeople. After a reading of the will, Elvira is bequeathed a book of recipes, a poodle and a decrepit mansion.
In between trying to make herself at home among the conservative town, she is unaware of the true nature of her family’s history that resides in the house. Her first mission is to turn Algonquin from a prissy poodle into a punk one before renovating her house with the help of Fallwell’s youth. When she’s not busy battling the forces of evil, her time is spent making the older townspeople uncomfortable with her sexuality and bouncin’ bosoms. Needless to say, the way she handles herself is one of the reasons Elvira has become a favorite.
Watching Elvira in any form is like coming home. Her witty humor and camp attire is what makes Halloween great. Yes, I can have two big pumpkins and horror movies, but seeing the Mistress of the Dark is what makes this time of year especially memorable. To all of our readers, guys and ghouls alike, unpleasant dreams.