The Good, The Bad, and The Awkward – Your Semi-Weekly News 12/3/14
The Good: We’ll go ahead and start with the good news. Here are the weekend highlights.
Stefan Matioc Presents: Bear and Bread – It seemed as though there was something missing from this news series. After careful consideration, a stiff drink, and a lot of coffee, it became apparent. Classic newspapers always had the “funnies” at the end. Regardless of the negativity that the news brings every day, the reader’s day could be brightened just a little by a clever comic strip. Well, we’re going to give it to you. The very talented and extremely clever Stefan Matioc has a comic for the millennial masses called Bear and Bread. We’ll be adding a new strip to the end of your news from here on out. We hope you enjoy it!
Darren Wilson Resigns – After months in front of the grand jury, 4 hours of testimony, a TV interview, and the inevitable scrutiny from a huge chunk of the American population, Officer Darren Wilson has resigned. He told his story, we all called bull shit, and the people got what they wanted, kind of. While many still want Wilson to pay for his crime of killing Michael Brown, he’s at least no longer on the streets with authority and a gun.
Black Friday Shopping is OVER! – For those who work in retail, for those who hate malls, and for those who would rather be sleeping at 4AM, the worst day of the year is finally over. This year’s “Black Friday” officially started on Thursday. Yes, people left their dinner tables and went Christmas shopping on Thanksgiving. If this sounds dumb to you, you’re not alone. Alas, the feast was good, the deals were hot, and some of us won’t have to go back to the mall for another year.
The Bad: Sometimes we forget how fragile our every day lives can be. Here is what’s going on elsewhere.
Ferguson Officer Goes Free – Last week, a Missouri grand jury declined to indict Ferguson officer Darren Wilson, 28, for fatally shooting 18 year old Michael Brown back in August. Brown was unarmed and suffered 6 gunshot wounds from Wilson. This of course started a nation wide racial and political debate over police brutality, due process, and racial profiling. The prosecution failed to give the grand jury a reason to indict Wilson, resulting in the officer going home without any charges. Even though he resigned, the entire situation still stinks.
Black Friday Shooting – As if Black Friday wasn’t awful enough, a man in Chicago went to a Nordstrom department store during the busy shopping day and shot his ex-girlfriend, while she was working, before then turning the gun on himself. Hundreds of scared shoppers fled the scene in a rush, causing a slight panic. The woman was taken to the hospital where she was declared brain dead and subsequently passed away from her injuries. The reason behind what caused the man to commit murder-suicide has not been released. Our hearts go out to the victim’s family and friends.
The Racist James Watson – The man who helped the discover the double helix shape in DNA, James Watson, is putting up his Nobel Prize for auction. Watson publicly stated some very racist comments a few years back, causing most of his supporters to turn a cold shoulder. His classes, seminars, and speeches were cancelled by many universities and conventions. Basically, he was shunned by the entire academic community. Now, he has nothing more than his Nobel Prize to keep him afloat, so it is going on auction for between 2.5 and 3.5 million dollars. That should keep him financially comfortable, but his reputation will forever be tainted.
And The Awkward: Take it as good news, take it as bad news, but uh… here ya go.
Goodwill Employee Finds $10,500 – They say no good deed goes unpunished. Well, one poor Goodwill employee is feeling this first hand. While sorting through the usual donations, Lakeisha Williams found over $10,000 in cash! Like the upstanding citizen that she is, she turned the money over to her supervisors thinking maybe someone will claim it. However, now that no one has, Williams may only get 10% of the found money back to her, with the rest going to Goodwill as a company. The money was most likely made by illegal means, so no one would dare to claim it even if they did realize it was missing. While Williams was acting as an honest employee, it kind of blows that she isn’t going to get much of that back as a reward.
Woman Brings Pig on Plane – Some people can’t travel without their animals. Rachel Boerner of Connecticut took this to another level. Claiming that it was a service animal, Boerner brought her pig on the plane on the way to visit her family for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately before takeoff, her pig started screaming and misbehaving in her lap. This caused such a ruckus that the flight crew had to ask Boerner and her service barnyard friend to leave the plane. Maybe road trip next time?
Atheist Anti-Christmas Billboard – This has always been and will always be a free country, and this of course includes freedom of religion, or lack thereof. For the past few years, the Atheists of America have come out with anti-religion billboards, just the same as many Christian groups have pro-choice or scripture billboards across the country. They always cause quite a stir, and this year is no different. Targeting those who often only engage in religious activities such as going to church over the holidays, the billboard shows a little girl writing a letter: “Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to SKIP CHURCH, I’m too old for fairy tales.” Think what you will, but like I said before, this is a free country. Good luck, Santa.