Immersed: The Entourage Trailer
For those of you who are at work and can’t watch the trailer in all its glory/horror, don’t fret. Bro Plus Hipster’s here to break Entourage trailer down for you.
We open up with a 40 second clip of a movie, apparently directed by Vince. It’s Blade Runner meets The Road meets The Matrix meets EDM. We’re salivating.
Much like any Entourage plot, it’s tough to really gauge what’s happening or what’s important. First glance: looks like Vince stars as a demon DJ who uses EDM to brainwash people and take over the world. For some reason there’s Asian language characters on one of the skyscrapers. Despite the total lack of Asian people in the opening 40 seconds, it looks like this EDM revolution/antichrist apocalypse is kicking off in Asia. People are raving, probably rolling…HARD. They’re lost in DJ Demon Vince’s tunes.
Inception-y music bumps in the background. Some raver launches a Molotov cocktail. The ravers, including DJ Demon Vince, are slowly surrounded by police in riot gear, swat teams, and helicopters. We eagerly await the next move; we wait for DJ Demon Vince to drop the bass.
The screen freezes, the word “pause” pops up. Cut to Ari with a remote in hand, standing in a big living room with the whole crew watching the television. Ari tells Vince that he’s $15 million over budget and that the studio (Ari) won’t give him more money to finish the movie. (Beat). Drama drops some stupid joke about banging a friend’s sister. Ari shits on him.
And just like that, we’re back. Undeniably powerful start.
We then enter a slow-motion montage of Ari revealing a sports car, the main cast walking down a street, hot girls smiling, and Yacht’s cruising calm seas. Just like Coors Light, once it hits the lips it tastes so good.
Unfortunately, though, the montage comes to a crashing halt when we’re snapped back into reality by some girl banging on the hood of the crew’s Escalade. Turtle rolls down the window and says he knows her. She asks him if he used to be fat. That’s all they’re giving us. What a tease. We’re thrown back into the slow-motion montage. More meaningless shit happens.
Finally, a brief interruption in the stream of meaningless shit. Billy Bob Thorton appears. He tells Ari that his career is over if the movie bombs. He references the Hindenburg to make it extra bad ass. Quick two-second cut to Haley Joel Osmond loading a weapon behind a desk. The nostalgia is palpable.
We dive into a montage of Ari running, screaming, looking angry, throwing things. He’s in therapy, gets up, punches a wall. Shakes it off like Superman. The bruised hand and pained face make us remember how much we’ve missed Ari Gold. The power of Piven’s craft pushes us to the verge of tears.
A shitty Drama joke about liking weather (literally, liking the weather).
An inexplicable UFC-cage match between Ronda Rousey and Turtle. We’re a fly on the wall. She beats his ass. We’re hooked. We think to ourselves: “If they got Rousey for a cameo, who DIDN’T they get?!?!” I almost fall off my chair.
Only ten seconds left on the top bar of my YouTube mobile app. I can feel the serotonin levels dropping, depression setting in, can’t believe it’s going to be over almost as soon as it began.
Cut to a long hallway. Ari comes barging through the doors and runs towards Vince. Cut to the other side, and we finally see him. It’s Marky Mark. He’s wearing a T-shirt and forward-brim hat. He looks like he just finished asking Barry O for a pardon. Shitty joke about drama. Cut to
I go down to my law firm’s locker room to change my splooged-in underwear. I think about how Entourage helped me grow into a man.