Moonlight Frights: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Once upon a time, when I was a wee gay boy in high school, I took a culinary class. My culinary skills were decent and I was even invited to attend an after-school culinary program where I became second-in-command. We learned to make a variety of dishes that our taste buds learned to love — except for one quick meal that involved my most hated fruit/vegetable. Stuffing crab meat into a tomato might sound nice but it’s one of the worst options to feast on. For this week, we’re focusing on one of nature’s prolific members of the nightshade family — the tomato! Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is an incredibly absurd spoof of B movies and is without a doubt, a classic cult film.
Opening with a reference to Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes starts off with a tomato rising out of a garbage disposal to attack a lone woman in her kitchen. The opening credits are equally amazing, featuring an operatic and humorous number about the titular villains. The film continues to spoof another classic, Jaws, by showing tomatoes viciously attacking swimmers at a nearby beach. While the government refuses to publicly comment on the horrendous horticultural incidents, they do have specialists working on eliminating the vicious fruits. Before the film concludes, there are several memorable scenes involving a disguise expert infiltrating the ranks of the killer tomatoes and more musical numbers.
This particular film is so absurd, it makes me want to start a Change.org petition to outlaw this useful vegetable. While my readers can think of a hashtag to jump start this petition, I will do my best to ensure a tomato-less future for not only myself, but friends and family as well. A tomato-less nation is a great nation. Sorry Italy, I love the usage of tomatoes in pasta dishes but get wrecked.